Transcript:
Why are you becoming an Ambassador for ADHD UK?
I struggled a lot myself. Getting a diagnosis and when I try to explain to people what it is to have ADHD or or some of the symptoms, I myself still struggle to understand and grasp some of the concepts behind this. And so to help others also possibly to get a diagnosis sooner, if that’s the case, because it really, really helps to have a healthier lifestyle, both professional and personal.
Tell us about your diagnosis journey.
My journey with ADHD has been such a long one. I think in actually the body actually got me to realize that possibly I had ADHD was my journey with comorbid, with my comorbid situations really. So, the first time that I got diagnosed with depression, I was like 12, 13 years old. And so from that point on, I always had a close relationship with therapists. I, I’ve always looked to go to, to therapy. I, I did cognitive behavioural therapy. I was diagnosed with PTSD at one point. So depression, anxiety have always been close friends of mine. And so it got to a point where I worked a lot on those two on depression and anxiety, and I felt like no this is still not the answer because as an adult, I’m still I mean, I’ve sort of worked around depression, I’ve worked around anxiety, and that still doesn’t explain a lot. So it was with, with a lot of you know, knowing myself in at 34 years old, I finally got the diagnosis because I read a lot about anxiety, depression, and then ADHD came along as in like I was reading a news article, and I absolutely, I was seeing myself there. It just very quickly, I was like, okay, I started looking online ADHD, how to get a diagnosis. I got referred, I had to wait a few, a few months, unfortunately, to get the diagnosis I finally did. And it was, it was life-changing it was definitely life-changing for me.
The impact of ADHD and resultant increased risk of suicide is an important topic. Have you ever had suicidal thoughts?
Suicidal thoughts. A lot more than possibly the average person has. But because it’s in, it’s within you and you don’t really talk about those. It’s something that you don’t realize. It’s not nice to live with suicidal thoughts means that you’re living only half-life, really. And again, only at a later stage did I realize that it was possibly associated with the difficulties that I was experiencing whilst living with ADHD, undiagnosed, undiagnosed ADHD. Yes.
What would you like to tell people generally about your ADHD?
It’s hard to talk a bit about ADHD because it’s not, it’s an internal process, more than people tell me, but you don’t look like you have ADHD. No, it’s not something that you will see, it’s a struggle that I have. So just try and I mean, have an open mind because if I’m telling you that I’m having these problems, having a person saying yeah but you don’t look like you have it. It’s not obvious I show you have ADHD. Yes, I’ve been living with it for 35 years now I think I know a thing or two about ADHD.
What would you like to tell your employers about your ADHD?
I think that’s, you know, working with an employee that has ADHD opens the door to so many other things. I think that a person that has ADHD, yes, it requires probably a different setting, a different way of working, but I think that it will also open a door to other people and other learning disabilities because we ADHDers, we, we work in different ways and we are really resourceful. We are really, we think out of the box. So by doing this, we will actually be making your company a bit more that, you know, giving a bit more different approach to, to working and learning. And that’s, that’s actually an opportunity really.
What would you like to tell your school about your ADHD?
That schools and learning my, my journey with learning has been awful. I’ve been told by many teachers and by many lecturers, both directly and indirectly, that I wasn’t good enough. That I’d probably go nowhere with my life. That I was below average. What a thing to say to a child first of all. And then what a thing to say to a teenager. What a thing to say to a young adult. What a thing to say to a future parent. What a thing to say to an actual parent that actually then are going to tell that to their young children and going to pass on to many generations to come. I think that’s if you teach, you are teaching the future. So please be very, very aware of the, of the words you choose to, to use when you’re talking to somebody that you’re, you’re teaching really.
What would you like to tell your university about your ADHD?
I think that university is a, should be a place for adults to be adults and it should be a place that enables knowledge. It enables new ways of thinking, it enables the future to happen, really. So when, when there’s very strict approaches to to marking, very strict marking criteria, and when we are not allowed to think a bit outside of the box, and even if the coursework is amazing is still graded below if it doesn’t fit exactly that. So I think, I think we should rethink the way that’s, that’s, you know, what is it? What do we want? What do we want universities to produce really and how to get there?
What would you like to tell the NHS about your ADHD?
I think that your program ‘Right to Choose’, it’s such a good thing, because it’s exactly that you have the right to choose and where to go in if you think that it’s more. Your case is a bit more urgent than what the NHS can give you, then there’s this back door where you can go and you can get help faster, quicker. And yeah, thank you so much NHS for ‘Right to Choose’.
What would you like to tell your friends about your ADHD?
Friends, I’m so sorry of those times where I was like overexcited, or where I, I pinched you or, or beat you out of that over excitement. That’s, it’s cause when I have a lot of stimulus, I just get like, wow, I just like, I live the moment and I get so expressive, but at the same time when I don’t reply to your texts, it’s because I need that extra time for myself. I’m, you know, I’m, it’s not because I don’t adore you or because, you know, I’m not thinking about you is just that, you know, I have my highs and have my lows, but I, I really appreciate you. So stick around.
If you could have a magic wand, would you entirely remove your ADHD?
That’s a very tricky question because I mean, in life you can’t choose. You can’t like with ADHD, there’s not a fine line between what is ADHD and what it’s not. What is ADHD and what’s my personality? What a, what is ADHD and what I’ve never lived without it. So I think at this point, if I had to choose, I keep it as a whole, I keep myself as a whole. I can’t say that there’s better parts or less, you know, less positive parts. I love that I’m spontaneous. I love that I’m creative. I love that I go beyond, I think outside of the box. I, I understand that to think, to have these big ideas that has consequences isn’t like, sometimes I need to recover my energies a little bit more and it’s just respecting my, my rhythm. So yeah. ADHD, the whole thing.
Tell us about one of your favourite ADHD strategies.
Funnily enough, I’m really eco-conscious. I don’t like waste. I don’t like to, I don’t, I’m really mindful about plastic consumption and everything else. But one thing that really, really helps my ADHD is to print a material, to have it, to have, have hard copies of it so I can like, look at it, touch it, underline it if I can. You know, that whole experience really improves my learning experience. So yeah, definitely have that hard copy that I can like go back to. I, I’ve got, I’ve got three or four notebooks that I just scribble on. And that definitely really helps me because it makes it real when you have it in your mind and it’s all jumbled up. It’s like It’s almost like this dream you live in in this dreamy state. And if you put it down, if you talk to somebody about it, you make it real. So it’s, it’s actually, it gives you that extra bit, it might actually come true that idea that you think that, oh no, this, this is too outlandish, this is too difficult. If you put it down, if you write it down, if you talk to somebody, your chances of actually accomplishing it will become much bigger
What is the worst thing that has happened to you as a result of ADHD?
Because it’s the not knowing it’s the, yeah, the anxiety that comes with it is the depression is the, the, the unknown is the lot that it’s the constant thinking the niggling. You are horrible. You are lazy. You are you never finish anything. You will never amount to anything. That’s definitely the worst part. And I mean, at the end of the day, it’s what made me I am. Like they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. But I wish I could have been stronger in a different way because it’s just, it’s heavy and it’s, it’s lonely and it’s dark at times. Definitely the worst part.
What is the best thing that has happened to you because of ADHD?
It’s very different, difficult again to real, to understand the difference between my personality and what ADHD brings me. But the best thing about having the ADHD is that it was confirmed that I had ADHD. That confirmation, that external confirmation that I actually, you know, I’m not crazy. There’s something different about me, about the way that I think. It’s very, it was very important to me because it then enabled me to to look for solutions to look for people that have ADHD. To, you know, my tribe, to look for people that have the same experiences in that as a group as a whole, we can explain things better. Unfortunately, to have that external validation, fortunately, was was the best thing for me, hands down.